


Once Upon A Never

by Cynonyms



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Drabble Collection, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Heavy Angst, I just really like angsty shmoop y'all, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 18:11:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11674407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cynonyms/pseuds/Cynonyms
Summary: A mini collection of my older EXO ficlets and drabbles (reposted from tumblr and my asianfanfics account).





	1. Blondie

Title: Blondie  
Pairing: Hunhan  
Genre: crack/comedy/ Harry Potter AU  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Luhan hates Zitao for getting him into this mess and Blondie is an attractive asshole.

 

Luhan doesn't hate muggles exactly. He just hates a certain muggle born idiot that goes by the name of Huang Zitao.

Luhan scowled, staring at the scrap of paper in his hand that was supposedly a map. Tao had invited him over for winter break to his house in suburban London, but instead of traveling together like normal people, Tao had given him directions by bus and this map. Meanwhile, Tao was busy meeting up with a friend first. Luhan wasn't quite sure when "snogging the Slytherin prefect by the suit of armor on the second floor" became considered meeting a friend, but that wasn't the reason he hated Tao so much. 

No, the hating Tao part came from the fact that Tao gave him direction to his house by bus. What part of I'm a wizard did Tao not understand, Luhan thought bitterly, clutching Yugi's cage closer to him. Had it never occurred to Tao that giving Luhan an address to apparate to, or floo network to, or even ride a broom to, would be so much simpler? Or if you had to pick some bus, at least pick the Knight's bus? Instead, Luhan was standing in a crowd of muggles, all whom were waiting for the bus and all whom were giving Luhan strange glances. Luhan glanced down at himself and realized why, flushing slightly. He was still wearing his thin school robes as he forgot to change into jeans earlier. 

Luhan glared down at the map once again, if it could even be considered map. Tao couldn't have even gotten him an actual map. Instead the Ravenclaw boy had decided to draw the map himself. The so called map consisted of a dotted line, a few squiggles, a red X and a star. "The X stands for the bus stop and the star is my house!" Tao had explained quickly before rushing off to "meet up with friends". The directions Tao gave him were written in Tao's chicken scratch handwriting and were of no help whatsoever. 

Finally the bus arrived and Luhan cautiously walked up the steps into the heated bus. Prying two coins from his pocket, he dropped it into the slot and ignored the judging looks that he and Yugi were receiving, The seats were already filled so Luhan reached up to take hold of a handle rail, leaning slightly against the back of a chair for balance. 

That was when an idiot behind him had the audacity to laugh. Turning on his heel, Luhan glared around looking for the one who laughed and saw the culprit. Unlike Luhan, the said boy had found a seat and was currently leaning back and smirking at him. 

"What do you want, asswipe" Luhan snapped. He wasn't usually this snippy but it had been a long day and this blonde haired boy was grating on his nerves. 

"Be careful," the blonde haired boy warned with a smug smile two seconds before the bus started moving and Luhan jolted causing the blonde boy to burst into laughter again. Thank god he was holding onto the handle rail. Looking up to glare at the obnoxious blonde boy, Luhan snarls, pulling his lips back to show off his pearly whites. The action only causes the blonde boy to laugh even harder, causing the other passengers to stare at the two of them warily. 

The bus skids to a stop and Luhan thanks Merlin that there are only 5 stops left before he can leave this hell-hole. Wait, Luhan squints at the scratches on the paper and realizes no; its not 5 more stops. Its 15 more stops in this swaying metal thing with a blonde guy laughing at him. Luhan reminds himself to go kill Tao later, or at least use the tickling charm on him. If Luhan had thought the Knight's Bus was bad before, he didn't anymore. Stan's squeaking bus was as docile as a kitten compared to this muggle driven device. The bus kept on swerving, constantly unbalancing Luhan, Yugi's cage just narrowly missing someone's face.

The bus doors slid open with a creak and an old lady walked in, crane in hand and Luhan debated against warning her against riding this torture device and keeping his mouth shut so that the pumpkin pastry he ate on the Hogwarts Express would stay in his stomach. He decided that the latter choice was much smarter and watched helplessly as the old lady clambered up the steps, not bothering to slide two coins into the slot. Oh, right, the senior citizen privilege, Luhan thought. Free rides in a torture device.

However, he's even more annoyed when Sehun suddenly rose out of his seat before ushering the old lady in, charming her with his sweet smile and lilting voice. No, not sweet smile, more like an evil grimace, Luhan thought with a grimace of his own. 

The grimace turns into a scowl when he feels someone standing behind him, close enough so that if leaned back just a little bit, his back would be pressed flush against their chest. Luhan turns his head around slowly, trying hard at subtlety. Of course it doesn't work.

"Hey there princess," a husky whisper sounds behind him and he flushes maroon.

"Blondie," he snaps back, not half as quietly. His insult is met with soft laughter.

"You'll have to try harder than that to rile me up darling," the blonde guy murmurs, lips just a few centimeters away from Luhan's ear, exhaling a warm breath over Luhan's face and despite everything, Luhan shivers. 

Then the moment is broken when the body behind him moves away and Luhan lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Asshole," he mutters, but he can't muster up enough venom for the insult to sting.  His jibe is met with soft laughter and pale hands wrap themselves around Yugi's cage, taking it away from Luhan. Luhan turns, looking at the blonde boy questioningly and he just gives Luhan a soft smile.

It's a genuine smile this time unlike all those smirks and smug grins Luhan had seen before and Luhan can't help but think that Blondie is actually somewhat attractive. Then of course, the moment is ruined once more. The bus swerves around a corner and Luhan is flung backwards into Blondie and the two of them crash onto the ground, Yugi's cage clattering down with them. Luhan really hates buses but he can't deny the small tingling sensation in his stomach when Sehun stands up and gives him a hand up also. He thinks its called butterflies. (Screw Jongin and his huge collection of romance novels)

Coincidentally, 13 stops later, the two get off at the same stop. It's now snowing and the cobblestone road is slippery with ice, the streetlamps dimly lighting up the dark street as the bus drives off. Without a word, Blondie, as Luhan had taken to calling the guy turned right and began walking. Luhan's eyes followed his dark silhouette before the figure disappeared completely out of view. 

Asshole he thinks before he turns the opposite direction and starts walking, squinting quizzically at his map. Looking up and around to see if anyones around-- there's no one-- Luhan takes out his wand and quietly mutters Lumos under his breath. The tip of the wand lights up faintly before glowing brighter and Luhan turns the map around and around and around. Nope, there is no way he's going anywhere with this map as his guide, Luhan thinks bitterly as he turns off the light on his wand and settles for just walking. He can't tell if he's on the dotted line or one of the squiggles surrounding the red X and he doesn't think it matters anyways. A few left turns later he hears someone calling his name and this someone sounds remarkably like Tao.

"Here!" he shouts back, looking around for the person shouting for him and finally he sees two figures walking towards him. Two figures? When they're close enough and Luhan sees the second figure's face he pales considerably because it's him. It's Blondie. 

Blondie seems equally shocked to see him and that comforts Luhan somewhat.

"Tao," Luhan squeaks out, still clutching Yugi's cage tightly in his hand. He can feel himself tensing up. "What is he doing here."

"Have you two met?" Tao asks, oblivious to the glares Luhan is sending his friend and completely missing the smirk his friend is wearing. "And why are you still in your robes, Lu?"

"We've never met," Blondie cuts in smoothly, running a hand through his hair, tousling it. "Introduce us Tao?"

Tao looks at the two of them questioningly but obliges, introducing the two, "Luhan, this is my friend from Beauxbaton, Sehun, and Sehun, this is my friend from Hogwarts, Luhan. I invited both of you over for winter break."

"Pleasure to meet you, Luhan," Blondie- sorry, Sehun purrs, smirking as Luhan visibly stiffens. "We'll have so much fun this winter."

"The pleasure is all mine," Luhan spits back, ignoring the confused glances Tao is sending him. 

Like a chivalrous gentlewizard, Sehun gently unclasps Luhan's hand from Yugi's cage and carries it himself as they start walking and Luhan contents himself with staring at Sehun. I'm just making sure he doesn't throw my owl away, he convinces himself. Its not because I'm imagining how his shoulders will look dressed up nicely in a fitted dress robe. 

Luhan groans as Tao babbles beside him about jinxes and unicorns or something. Yixing? Lay? What does that even have to do with unicorns, Luhan thinks bitterly, still staring at Blondie. 

Blondie-- no sorry, Sehun turned around to find Luhan blatantly staring and just chuckles. "I'll let you see my wand if I can see yours," he teases making Luhan flush.

"In your dreams asshole."

Blondie just laughs and winks at Luhan, making him drop his jaw on the ground. Blondie is not attractive, he convinces himself and the boner he isn't going to pop in the middle of the street.

It was going to be a long winter break.


	2. Twisted Hues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Twelve lives hang upon a single thread; an intertwining, twisting thread, winding around the fiery pits of passion and love and lust. 
> 
> Not everyone can hang on till the end.

Luhan used to love Sehun’s eyes. Tiny, crinkling crescents sitting above his arched nose and sinfully pink lips. Eyes that used to be filled with passion and fervor and fire.

But now, those same eyes watch him, empty and sad and forlorn. They aren't the eyes Luhan has fallen in love with.

Luhan wishes Sehun would yell at him; scream at him; curse at him; he wishes those eyes would smolder with anger and betrayal. He wishes he could turn back the time to when their relationship was still burning bright, when those bright eyes sparkled with joy instead of tears and Luhan could sleep beside the younger man without the guilt of feeling another man's dick pulsing in his ass. 

Luhan wishes he could regret sleeping with Jongin, but he doesn't. He can't. The man's dark charisma and dark, miserable charm draw him in like a moth to a flame, dangerous but so bright and beckoning. The only thing he does regret is the permanent sadness that sticks to Sehun, clinging on to the younger male like a shirt that's too small to be comfortable, but too familiar to discard. 

Jongin is a rough lover. Pounding in and out with no regards for Luhan's own pleasure. But to Luhan, this is passion. This is what he's missing. 

Sehun is a considerate lover. Pressing gentle kisses down Luhan's chest to his naval, littering the pale skin with soft promises of love. Luhan doesn't know what he wants anymore.

Maybe he just wants Sehun to actually look at him. See his hips, where the skin is purple and mottled. See his lips where the flesh is swollen and ragged from Jongin's teeth. He wants passionate, energetic Sehun with burning eyes and embers and flames. He wants Sehun to give him fireworks again, burning him up with zeal and fervor. He wants to feel the burning; feel his flesh turn to ashes. But Sehun doesn't.

Sehun continues to stare at him with those eyes, gleaming wet from tears that refuse to fall. And Luhan continues to submit to Jongin's rough hands. He's drowning in passion. The passion he believes Sehun no longer has. 

 

***

Kyungsoo wishes his eyes weren’t so big. Wishes he didn’t have to see the marks on Jongin’s creamy collarbones. Marks that had nothing to do with him.

He wakes up every morning to Jongin's sleeping face, lips red and swollen and collarbones marked red and purple. The heavy, sultry smell of cologne settles deeply around him like a veil neither of them can lift.

He can't say anything because this is his punishment. He's the reason Jongin goes out every night, seeking a warm body. 

He wants to cry because he knows Jongin doesn't trust him anymore. He knows that the marks littering Jongin's creamy skin aren't his marks, the thoroughly kissed lips belong to some faceless stranger, and that Jongin's heart no longer belongs to him; hiding instead in the temporary arms of that night's conquest. 

Kyungsoo wishes he didn't have such large eyes so he wouldn't have to see all the signs of passion written on Jongin's body, and all the signs of the lacking of love written in Jongin's hunched back and wrinkled brow. 

Kyungsoo hurts knowing Jongin finds more comfort in some stranger's arms than he does in Kyungsoo.

But he hurts even more knowing he's the one who caused it.

 

***

Kris just wants the images to go away. Sharp collarbones and expressive eyes and a hooked nose, feline eyes and curled lips. A face that he would never be able to see again.

The squad members try to comfort him as they drive off into the night. The mission is done; the vampire is dead. But instead of joy, all Kris feels is regret. 

He had been sent to this city by the government to catch the vampire gone wild; Baekhyun. Driven mad by pain and betrayal, the pale creature ravaged the city, feeding on those who crossed his path.

Kris remembered the relief in Baekhyun's eyes as Kris pushed the stake into his chest, the pale skin slowly disintegrating into a fine dust, what was left of his last victim's blood soaking through the wood. 

But as the remnants of the vampire became dust, swept away into the wind, all he had felt was despair. 

During the last few weeks he had spent in this city, he had met Tao. A young, lovable man who's dark looks and childish naivety captured Kris's fancy. Now that the mission was complete, Kris had to leave. It had been too dangerous to tell Tao who he was, and it was dangerous for Tao to be close to Kris. 

Tao had loved to play pretend and Kris wanted to play pretend right now. Pretend he wasn't leaving; pretend he was still sleeping, curled up next to Tao.

Back at the government center, Kris sat staring out the window towards the cityscape, the large looming buildings and flashing bright lights. 

But all he saw were feline eyes and dark shadows; a melodious laugh and husky whispers; hair that could rival snow whites' and a love of Disney. All he saw was the child stuck inside a man's body and the tears that were sure to come when Tao woke up the next morning, finding the bed besides him empty.

The worry and pain and denial before realization finally hit, and then the hatred.

Kris hadn't cried when he broke his leg during training, and he didn't cry when a stranger's blood seeped into his gloves. But on the ride back to the government's center, he let the tears fall.

He let himself cry for the boy he'd never see again.

 

***

Xiumin walks alone sometimes. Into the valleys where the orchid hides behind the mountains, drowning him in colors he’d rather not see.

The orchids always bloomed brightest in spring, ranging from rich purples, the color of ripe plums, to pinks so pale, they seemed to shimmer. Some of the buds were so pale, they reminded Xiumin of Jongdae. The pale, lifeless corpse lying in the middle of the valley where the smallest tree now stood. Sucked dry by a vampire on the loose, the only bit of color left being the dull brown of his pupils and the faint pink of his lips. 

Some of the blooms were a beautiful pink, harsh and rosy, like the marks Jongdae nipped onto Xiumin's own skin. Pink like Xiumin's cheeks when Jongdae first said those very special three words.

There were orchids the color of blood, red and luscious and beckoning, waving along with the gentle breeze and then there are the white buds, slowly opening up, little dark specks slanting across. Like the bitemarks ripped into Jongdae's throat, a dark contrast to the white, lifeless skin.

Jongdae often took him to the orchid, telling him excitedly about the different colors and flowers and blooms, eyes shining and cheeks pink with joy.

The colors remind Xiumin of Jongdae, of his love and of his joy.

Xiumin drowns in the colors of Jongdae; drowns in the colors of his dead husband.

 

***

Chanyeol knows his own fetishes. Expanses of pale skin excite him more than it should. But he regrets nothing.

He's known for a while the effect that pale skin has on his hormones. That's why, when he first met Baekhyun with his sharp canines sticking out behind red lips, he was aroused rather than scared. Baekhyun had the palest skin he had ever seen and Chanyeol had immediately been infatuated.

He supposes that's what attracted him to Kyungsoo as well. Milky, pale collarbones jutting out beneath a plaid button down shirt, the red and green stripes contrasting so well. He knew the consequences of angering a vampire, especially one he had bonded with, knew that death was inevitable. But the pale, milky skin was an addiction Chanyeol couldn't quit if he tried. 

Vampires know everything, Baekhyun had told him when they first met. Baekhyun had stared at him with amusement sparkling dully in his crimson eyes, raising an eyebrow as Chanyeol's eyes ravished the pale skin. 

Vampires know everything, Baekhyun had explained when he led the lost Chanyeol out of the tangle of cities and buildings. He silenced Chanyeol's complaints with a small kiss, letting Chanyeol's hands explore the milky skin.

Vampires know everything, Chanyeol repeated over and over again as he introduced himself to Kyungsoo, flashing a bright smile, flexing his biceps just enough. The small voice faded away as Kyungsoo grinned back, eyes large and trusting and oh so deceitful. 

Vampires know everything, Chanyeol gurgled out, staring at the pale man standing above him as the numbness overtook him and his vision edged on black. Baekhyun's lips were tainted red, wet and so alluring and his sharp white canines were bared, eyes red with hunger or anger; he could never really tell. 

He couldn't help but sigh with content seeing the dimming sunlight reflect prettily on Baekhyun's cheekbones, the pale skin shimmering gold, flushed red with Chanyeol's blood. 

He regrets nothing, for after all; hadn't he died pursuing the one thing he loved?

 

***

Suho wakes up every morning to sunshine streaming through the filtered glass panes. To him, the world is perfect and caring. He doesn’t see the intricate web of lies woven thickly around his home.

He ignores the old men lying on the streets, begging for a few scraps to eat and he ignores the heated arguments of the couple next door. He doesn't see the children starving right outside the bakery he enters and leaves every morning and he doesn't see the muscled men following him wherever he goes.

His life is nothing if not precise movements and actions, a procedural procession that goes on and on and on. He doesn't see the bruises Yixing has on his arms and legs and face. He simply presses another wet cloth onto the wound and nurses the man back to health.

He doesn't see the guns Yixing brings into his apartment, slung casually over his shoulder or the blood that clings onto Yixing's clothes.

He's simply glad the blood isn't Yixing's. 

He's convinced himself that if he doesn't see it, its not there. The world is a perfectly kind and wondrous place where nothing can go wrong. 

He doesn't see (because he doesn't want to).

 

***

Sehun has learned to protect himself from pain. Ignore the bruises, the red marks, the bruised lips. Ignore everything except that simple, loving glance Luhan gives.

Sehun isn't blind. He can see the facts; see the bruised hips, see the bruised lips, see the limp Luhan sports every night when he comes home. 

He knows that he's losing Luhan but he also can't bear to let go. He doesn't question Luhan distancing from himself, fearing he'll lose the older man if he does so.

Instead, he makes the most of what they have left together. Gentle kisses down his collarbone, past his bellybutton towards his nether regions. Luhan's small hand clasped between his as they take one of their rare strolls together around the neighborhood. He basks in the few glances Luhan gives him, filled with something unreadable. Sehun pretends that its love.

He pretends for himself that their relationship is still functional. That the purple bruises on Luhan's hips aren't from someone else and that Luhan doesn't avoid his gaze. It's his imagination working both ways. 

He knows his own eyes are tired and dull and that his back is forever hunched from resignation, but still he pretends.

He pretends that he doesn't see the disappointment in Luhan's eyes every time the older male comes home with new bruises and smelling of sex. 

He can ignore all of that as long he Luhan is still with him.

The rest, he can just pretend.

 

***

Jongin finds comfort in warmth. The warmth of a stranger’s embrace, the warmth of another lover’s arms. He seeks the warmth he once found in Kyungsoo.

He tries not to wince as he escapes the dingy hotel room, covered in the other man's cologne. The smell is intoxicating; its erotic, its sultry. Its everything Kyungsoo isn't and its the only thing that keeps Jongin hanging on. He despises it.

Without even a glance back towards the blonde male he just left, he goes home. He hasn't freshened up and he knows he looks like a mess. Tousled brown locks and bruised lips; a violently red mark blossoming just below his adam's apple, another tucked into the corner of his collarbone. 

He can already imagine the grimace on Kyungsoo's face when they wake up tomorrow, the sheets reeking of the blonde male's cologne and the musky smell of sex. He can already see the hurt in Kyungsoo's eyes as the two large orbs travel down his thoroughly kissed face to his shirt, buttoned up messily with a white smear decorating it. 

In- out- in- out. It's all movement; completely physical and part of it drives Jongin insane as he slams in and out of yet another stranger; his lover for the night. He wants this part to end quickly so he can get to the cuddling. The feeling of another's arms wrapped around him, protecting him, keeping him warm. The feeling of being wanted, the feeling of being safe, the feeling he chases after since Kyungsoo is no longer able to provide it for him.

He knows it hurts Kyungsoo; he can see it in the way the elder's eyes shine with tears and the way the edges of his lips tilt downwards when Jongin comes home reeking of sex and alcohol. He knows that it hurts Kyungsoo and he revels in that, wanting to hurt Kyungsoo the way Kyungsoo hurt him.

But mostly, he's just chasing after that feeling. The feeling of being loved. 

 

***

Tao doesn’t really want to wake up. Somewhere deep inside he knows that as soon as he wakes up, Kris will be gone. And that is a reality he doesn’t want to face.

He's known for a while. The secretive phone calls Kris receives in the middle of the night when he thinks Tao is asleep. The constant alertness in Kris's demeanor when they stroll around in the mall. The small gun tucked away in Kris's pocket, the handle gleaming silver.

Either Kris was really stupid or he wanted Tao to find out.

But Tao was never one to pry. He let time take its toll, letting Kris open up for himself, tell Tao the things he wanted to know.

Favorite color? White-

Favorite movie? Despicable Me- (to Kris's own embarrassment). 

He had hoped that if he let Kris do his own thing, eventually the older man would settle down. He had hoped the gentle kisses and intimate moans were enough to keep the man next to him, and every morning he woke up with Kris by his side had been a joy in itself, but he should've known it wouldn't last.

He should've known when he felt a gentle kiss on his forehead, a finger gently brushing down the contours of his face. And then the gentle padding of feet walked away that night. 

So Tao stayed asleep, eyes clenched shut because big boys don't cry. 

He'd stay asleep and pretend for a while that it didn't hurt and that Kris didn't really leave. That when he woke up, Kris would be right next to him, dark eyebrows relaxed in slumber.

Because pretend always hurts less than reality.

 

***

Jongdae is gone. Guiltless and innocent, he’s been sucked dry of life. His only regret is not visiting the orchid more often. 

The orchid was his safe place; the place he could bring Xiumin out to without the judging glares of his parents and siblings. Leafy, florid boughs waved at each other, petals dancing their way to their death, it was the most calming place. 

What he hadn't expected while walking around his orchid one night was the pale creature sobbing his heart out amidst the falling petals. 

He could count the dark eyelashes as the creature sniffed his pulse, face wet from tears. 

"You smell like him," the creature murmured before biting down and Jongdae cried out in pain. The teeth were sharp like knives and they sliced through his skin into his veins. He could feel the life ebbing out of him as the creature sucked diligently, staring at him with unreadable eyes. "I'm sorry," the creature murmured, stroking a finger down Jongdae's face, tracking the journey of a single teardrop. 

"I am so sorry."

Jongdae's last thought was how the orchid made everyone who came by vulnerable, and the vulnerability was a type of beauty.

"Me too."

Jongdae's only regret was not visiting the orchid more with Xiumin.

 

***

Baekhyun hasn’t felt like this in a while. He hasn’t felt the need to feed since he’s first met Chanyeol, but now the urge is back and stronger than ever.

Vampires know everything, he had warned the taller man the first time they met, the younger male's eyes raking down his body, undressing him in his mind. Baekhyun didn't really mind.

Chanyeol was attractive in his own right, with ruddy cheeks and such sweet smelling blood, if Chanyeol hadn't tried to suck his dick right there and then, he would have fed on him.

As it was, Chanyeol's blunt infatuation and mouth convinced Baekhyun that maybe this human was worth keeping alive. For a bit anyway.

As time went on, Baekhyun grew more and more affectionate towards his little human, finding the way Chanyeol diligently tried to suck marks in the bloodless, pale skin of his neck amusing, yet so endearing. He found the human's clumsiness cute and his flustered grumbles adorable.

In fact, the taller yet younger male managed to worm his way into Baekhyun's no longer beating heart, so much so, that when Baekhyun caught him blatantly flirting with the wide eyed stranger, his dead heart cracked. 

When he found them in bed, Chanyeol sucking visible bruises on the stranger's neck, he simply watched and waited for the stranger to leave. 

He almost felt whole again; he could imagine blood pumping in his veins; blood that was his, when he sucked the final drops out of Chanyeol. He almost felt human before the numbness came back and the artificial heartbeats slowed down to nothing. 

As he hovered over the body of Chanyeol, he couldn't help the tears that rolled down his face, washing away the drops of blood that somehow got onto his cheeks. 

His little human was gone.

But it seems, that his little human was never his to begin with.

 

***

Yixing just wants to protect. Protect Suho from all the pain the world has to offer and all the lies people tell. He wants to save the light that is Suho. 

Life isn't easy for people like Yixing; the streets are an unforgiving place to live. That's why he's struggled so hard to get to the top. Be respected, be feared.

He's learned the world is a cruel place, learned that nothing in the world is kind, nothing in the world is good. So when Yixing unknowingly saved the life of a younger gang member, he promised himself that he would keep Suho safe.

Suho still had a light in him which Yixing lost a long time ago. It was Yixing's job to protect that light.

Suho lived in a nice cozy home, Yixing fought on the streets. Yixing assigned men to guard Suho's house, making sure the younger man was protected and safe. That he had nothing to worry about.

That Suho felt the type of security Yixing never had. 

By this point, he isn't sure if he's saving Suho's light or if Suho's light is saving him. 

 

***


	3. Back With the Sun (Baekyeol)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chanyeol's life belongs to the ocean. He belongs to the waves; the bitter briny waters crashing onto the shore. He belongs to his men, sea-worn sailors who's lives know nothing but the bite of the wind and the sting of the rum pouring down their throats. He belongs to Lady Luck, the ship that had brought him to death and back. He belongs to the waves, to the wind, to the sea.
> 
> And once every ten years, Chanyeol belongs to Baekhyun.

The waves crash onto the sand in shifts. One wave following the next until the dark, coarse grains are ground into fine dust and the bits of seashells crumble to nothing. Nearby structures collapse and new ones take their places just as quickly; gleaming white marble and glinting steel beams rising from the ground. The sun sets as the moon rises and the moon slumbers as the sun wakes. 

Ten years; so much has changed and yet nothing has changed at all. The grains of sand still embed themselves into the bottoms of Baekhyun’s feet and the ocean breeze tickles the longer tendrils of hair near the nape of his neck. 

Its been ten years; 120 months; 3650 days and the ache that had built up in Baekhyun’s chest is struggling to be released. His chest aches with every breath he takes in, eyes searching the horizon. Hoping desperately to see the shadows of a small ship sailing towards the shores, with its dark masts and faded sails. 

The ship arrives seconds before the sun makes its entrance on the horizon, the morning glow dimly silhouetting the ship, the rays lighting up the ship to a faded gold  

Baekhyun watches as the ship docks, as a small boat detaches from the ship and starts rowing towards shore. The journey is long, the occupants of the small boat obviously tired from their long trip and Baekhyun’s fingers tense on the marble balcony, scrabbling for something to grip onto. The hope that he had clutched so tightly within his fingertips dissipates like sand and he’s left feeling vaguely terrified for the first time in a decade. 

FInally the small boat reaches the shore and Baekhyun watches as the occupants hop off into the shallow water. The waves lap at the shore, in an attempt to reach closer, and the shore willing recedes into the water, letting itself be embraced. 

The sun is almost up by this point, a tiny crescent of the sphere still covered by the water and the strangers on the shore are lit up with light. Baekyun’s eyes skim the shore until his sight falls upon a tall, almost lanky figure that seems to have left the group to their own devices. The figure is walking towards the cliff where Baekhyun lives, his feet sinking into the sand with every determined step. Baekhyun continues watching as the figure begins to ascend the rocky climb, feet stable and unmoving from years of experience. Its not long before the figure is already halfway to Baekhyun and only then does Baekhyun allow himself to retreat back into the rooms. 

His rooms are small and pristine, marble beams and granite walls with worn, plush rugs covering the cold ground. The walls are bare except for the one that faces the window of the balcony; the one that faces the sea. On that, Baekhyun’s own strokes had covered the gloomy gray with a portrait of his lover, large eyes, crooked smile and the laughter that seemed to permeate walls. 

He slowly slides the robes off his shoulders, letting the morning beams catch onto his bare shoulder. The faded robe slides off onto the ground and Baekhyun walks over to the bed in anticipation. The small, sturdy bed is covered in furs and soft silks and he sinks down. 

Baekhyun feels almost calm, and the ache that had eaten away at him began to thud, on the verge of painful. He can feel his heartbeat pounding in the silence of the room, each thud matching the crash of the waves outside. By this time, the shore had surrendered itself to the waves, he knew. It was almost high tide. He relaxes his limbs on the bed, letting the soft fur soothe him.

When his anticipation reaches its peak, there’s a light thud on the door. Two almost tentative strikes to the wood before the door swings open revealing the lone figure; Chanyeol. Baekhyun drinks in the sight of his long-time lover. The tall, lithe built, the muscled thighs hidden beneath leather britches and muscled biceps beneath the smooth cotton shirt. His hair is still a curled mess resting on top of his head, the threads of graying hair intermixing among the dark throng serve as a reminder that its been a decade since Baekhyun’s seen him last.

He wonders if he himself has changed since they last met. His smooth belly has become slightly softer to the touch, his hair is longer now, reaching just past his neck. But the way Chanyeol looks at him is the same and the long-resting ache soothes itself and the tension that had coiled up in his limbs relaxes. He lets himself smile as Chanyeol strides into the room, closing the door gently behind him. The sun is fully up by now, dousing the room in its glorious light and Chanyeol prowls across the small room, his long legs only taking two large steps before meeting the bed. 

“Baekhyun,” he breathes out and his deep, raspy voice is the cause of Baekhyun’s sudden sob. Chanyeol crawls onto the plush furs, stripping his breeches and shirt as he goes until he has Baekhyun in his embrace.

He still smells like the sea, the bitter salty waves and the sour rum and the sweat of his men. His mouth is chapped as it meets Baekhyun’s, fitting against his lips just as perfectly as they had ten years ago. Twenty years ago. Thirty years ago. He still tastes like the sea, like the biting wind and his loyal men. Baekhyun nips and bites and sucks until Chanyeol finally tastes like him. 

They’re fifty years old and their limbs are slower, but Baekhyun feels so much younger as Chanyeol mouths down his throat, marking him. Baekhyun vaguely wonders if this mark will last ten years and then chokes out a laugh at his own deliriousness. It's delicious the way Chanyeol fits against him, mouthing down his body, reigniting senses that he thought he had lost years ago, revisiting sensations that he had ached for. 

Later, when they’re both sated, Chanyeol washes them off with the small basin of water on the side, loving wiping Baekhyun’s body down, pressing soft kisses against his collarbones, his thighs. 

“So beautiful,” he mutters fervently as he presses kiss after kiss upon Baekhyun’s brow, upon his lips. "I've missed you," he mutters into Baekhyun's collarbone. "I love you," he promises. 

They lay there in companionable silence as the sun makes its rotation and just before the sun sleepily set down, Chanyeol presses one last kiss upon Baekhyun’s lips.

“I’ll see you again,” he promises, clasping Baekhyun’s fingers between his. His gaze is so direct, so sincere that Baekhyun can feel the tears welling up again.

“I’ll see you again,” he replies back, hearing the wobble in his voice. He presses one gentle kiss against Chanyeol’s brow before pushing the taller man away. Chanyeol’s gaze is longing as he hurriedly dresses back in his britches and shirt. WIth on last look back towards Baekhyun, still laying on the furs and silks, he slips through the door. Suddenly, it is as if the room is encased in darkness.

The door swings shut, and Baekhyun pulls himself out of bed, slowly pulling on his robe before stepping back onto the balcony. 

The evening is chilly as the sun sets down underneath the blanket of clouds. On the other side of the sky, the moon is waking, drifting into the sky. Baekhyun watches as the sailors pack themselves onto the small boat. He watches as the boat sails back into the water. He watches as the ships sails away towards the moon, and he watches as the ship disappears behind the horizon. 

He watches until there is nothing else to watch and even then he watches some more. He watches until the sun sleepily wakes from the horizon, the light glistening on empty waters. It is only then that he retreats back to his rooms to wait yet another ten years. 


	4. Maybe, Maybe Not (Baekyeol)

Baekhyun doesn't understand what all the hype is about. He doesn't understand why having legs is suddenly considered "cool" because honestly, what can you do with legs that you can't do with a tail? He doesn't understand why lungs are suddenly  _in_  while having gills is considered old fashioned and why talking with fish and crabs and other marine species is no longer a valued skill. 

But mostly, Baekhyun doesn't understand why Chanyeol wants to be human. He doesn't understand why his boyfriend of  _57_  years has suddenly decided that  _under the sea_  isn't quite as nice as  _under the stars_. It's more  _under the smog and pollution_ , Baekhyun thinks bitterly as he untangles a fin from a lump of plastic near the coral reefs. 

The little mermaid had it easy; exchanging your voice for legs? That's an easy deal. But times have changed; the little mermaid is now just a puff of sea foam in the large expanse of ocean and becoming human is becoming more and more popular, and the price of becoming human has risen higher and higher. 

To become human, a merperson would have to exchange not only sacrifice their fins for elongated limbs, but every memory made under the waves would be forgotten. Forgotten like the little mermaid, nothing but a puff of sea foam in the deepest part of the oceans. 

* * *

 

The swim towards shore was excruciatingly silent. Baekhyun swam a little behind his boyfriend, staring at Chanyeol's retreating figure, trying to carve it into his memory. His boyfriend's tale was a glimmering blue, sparkling and dazzling under the tinted green water. The sunlight's dazzling reflection only added to Chanyeol's ethereal beauty, illuminating the red wisps of hair that floated around Chanyeol's head. 

It had always been like this, Baekhyun realized as they neared the beach. Chanyeol in front, always adventurous, always daring, always pushing forwards, always wanting more. And there was always Baekhyun behind him, cautiously swimming against the current, waiting for Chanyeol to turn his head back and remember him. The water was warmer near the surface and Baekhyun gasped as he finally breached the water, turning off his gills to breathe in the salty air. His eyes are half closed, unused to areas where the sunlight blasted at full force and there was no water to mute the bright rays. 

He turned to look at Chanyeol again and found the other merman staring at him, head cocked to the side in thought. Baekhyun could only gaze fondly at the taut muscles in Chanyeol's arms and the milky white skin that glistened wetly before his eyes moved up towards Chanyeol's face.

Chanyeol had a strong jaw,  just barely covered by a layer of baby fat. Round, almost fish like eyes that glowed gold and crinkled closed when he laughed and teeth so white, so sharp that even sharks turned green with envy. Then however, he wasn't smiling. He was staring at Baekhyun with furrowed brows and Baekhyun had to resist the urge to paddle over and smooth the wrinkles away. Instead, Baekhyun turned to look down at the ocean floor, the smooth eroded land that seemed a forever away.

"I'll forget you." Baekhyun looked up just as Chanyeol's head bowed down.

So in sync.

So different.

"I know." Baekhyun's throat closed up as Chanyeol looked up again. "I know that."

"But we'll meet again," Chanyeol tried and Baekhyun let out a dry laugh. It seemed so ironic at the time, considering he was still half submerged in water. Considering he was never completely dry.  

"Maybe," he shrugged but he was shaking. The water around him danced and rippled, so calm despite the tension in the air. "Maybe not."

Chanyeol closed the distance between them with a few, short powerful strokes and soon, they were underwater again, Chanyeol's lithe body curled around Baekhyun protectively. The filtered sunlight reflected on their fins and casted rainbows through the water while Baekhyun tried to capture the moment.  _Their_  moment.  _His_  moment.

"I'll always love you though," Chanyeol gurgled, bubbles rising gracefully from his gills.  Baekhyun slowly popped one of the air bubbles that struggled to rise towards the surface. "My brain might not remember you," Chanyeol patted his chest awkwardly, "But my heart will. You know I'd never forget you."

Baekhyun couldn't help but laugh at his boyfriend's sappiness, and he was suddenly so glad that they were underwater. Chanyeol couldn't see the tears leaking out of his eyes and dissolving into the water around them. 

"I will," Chanyeol murmured and he looks at Baekhyun seriously. "I will," he promised, pressing a gentle finger on Baekhyun's cheek, tracing the skin there with a sad gaze.

Instead of answering, Baekhyun pulled away, just enough to reach into the small pouch he had around his waist. He busied himself with fiddling with the woven seaweed straps, but he can't stop the quiet "Was I not enough?" His regret was instant and he clamped his mouth shut. He isn't quite sure he wants to know the answer. 

"It was never you," Chanyeol breathed out, small bubbles dancing out of his gills and streamlining towards the surface and then Baekhyun saw that Chanyeol's golden irises were surrounded by red. Chanyeol was crying too. "I promise it was never you, Baekkie." Baekhyun cringes at the use of the familiar pet name.

He finally unraveled the strings and pulled out a small necklace. The string is made of woven seahorse hair and in the middle, theres a small fin. Baekhyun gives Chanyeol a faint smile. The fin is a jade-like green, the same color as Baekhyun's tail fins. 

"To remember me by," he joked as Chanyeol clutched at the string, gazing at Baekhyun with a fondness that Baekhyun wanted to both rip off his face and kiss away. Baekhyun gently took the necklace away from Chanyeol's clinging hands and tied it around the milky neck himself, turning the necklace this way and that critically until he was finally satisfied. He pushed Chanyeol's shoulder gently, trying to distant himself one last time."You should go now."

Chanyeol stared up towards the coastal city's distant silhouette and nodded slowly. He pulled Baekhyun closer and closer until they're moulded together, lips pressed against each others. What started off as gentle soon became desperate until Chanyeol was nipping at Baekhyun's bottom lip and Baekhyun's mouth opened willingly. Chanyeol's tongue darted in and for a second all of Baekhyun's fears and misery are lost in the ocean's movements. His hands were silky smooth under the water and placed on Baekhyun's hip and lower back, pulling the smaller male closer and closer. 

And then Baekhyun pulled himself away. Even under the water, he's flushed a pretty pink and Chanyeol had to look away. He turned away and he couldn't look back because if he did, he knows that he would stay. With powerful strokes of his tail, he's off, propelling himself through the water towards the rocky beach. He distantly hears Baekhyun calling out, voice muffled by the water. 

 _Don't forget me_. 

Chanyeol doesn't look back.

One second, all he sees is Baekhyun's face; his delicate features, his hair wispy and wild from the underwater currents, his blinding smile, his crinkled eyes. All he sees is  _Baekhyun_ ,  _Baekhyun_ ,  _Baekhyun_.

And then there's nothing. There's the vague ache in the back of his mind, like he's forgotten something significant.

And then that's gone as well.

* * *

 

Twenty years have passed and Baekhyun has finally gathered the courage to near the surface of the watter again. Unlike before when he thought the air was chilling and biting and foreign, now the gentle winds above the water is calm. He bobs towards the surface of the ocean, listening to the wind laughing. 

He is lulled into a sense of peace by the waves, lapping at his neck as his head bobs alone in the green ocean. Below him, a school of fish are going off towards their first lesson and near them, merchildren are racing around the coral reefs, their laughter mimicking like the chatter of dolphins. With a small sigh, Baekhyun turns and swims towards the shore. Its nighttime and the city is restless, bright city lights gleaming in the air, piercing through the smog and to the heavens where the stars look on cheerfully. Nearing the beach, Baekhyun paddles around the shallow water, playfully splashing a few seagulls that wander too close and sings. 

What starts as short melodies from the sea, happy chords adopted from seahorses turn into eerily beautiful, mournful cries. Baekhyun wails the bittersweet cries of mother whale's pain, of the wisdom passed down from sea tortoises; Baekhyun sings of loss and of pain. Twenty years have passed and Baekhyun still hasn't forgotten.

He sings until he hears the distinct padding of feet near the water and he ducks underneath the shallow protection of waves, hoping the darkness and the foam will keep him hidden. He stays floating numbly along the waves until he hears an achingly familiar voice.. 

The voice is rich and deep and Baekhyun almost chuckles, little air bubbles gurgling up the surface as he realizes the man is talking to himself. He's laughing breathlessly and he can taste the salt from his own tears in the water. He can almost feel the rivulets of tears streaming down his face as the voice gets closer and closer and he can't move.

Suddenly the water is splashing and he's shaken around, tumbling from the movement of the water and he can finally moving, trying to dive back into the depths of the ocean. His wrist is immobile as a hand captures him and he thrashes and squirms, trying to get  _him_  to let go. 

He stills when oxygen floods his lungs fully as he's pulled from the waves and he's dizzy from too much air. He looks up, his heartbeat racing in a way that makes him feel almost alive again.

Chanyeol still looks the same, sharp jaw covered in baby fat. His eyes are so round, so  _beautiful_ , and they're brown with flecks of gold in them and Baekhyun is mesmerized by the sight. 

Baekhyun is frozen, he can only stare into the eyes he lost twenty years ago and  _he_ stares back, gazing back with an intensity that scares Baekhyun.

"I know you," Chanyeol whispers and Baekhyun hears himself whimper. His breath is coming faster and his heart is thudding too loudly in his chest and he's not ready for this pain to come back. He can feel the shock in his veins as he stares into such a familiar sight, and he feels like he's been shocked by electric eels and he can't  _breathe_.

"I know you," Chanyeol whispers again, eyes furrowing in confusion and once again Baekhyun resists the urge to smooth the wrinkles down. Chanyeol's hand isn't smooth like it was 20 years ago, but they're warm and comforting and they're what Baekhyun knows. And at the same, they're what Baekhyun never really understood.

He's always been the one to remember while Chanyeol forgets. 

"Maybe," he says before slithering out of Chanyeol's grip. He gives Chanyeol one last look, drinking in the sight of what was once all he knew. "Maybe not."

And then Chanyeol is left alone in the water. His hand is still outstretched towards the ocean. _  
_

But his hand is empty and there's nothing. Nothing except an ache in the back of his mind reminding him that he's forgotten something significant.

And then there's nothing.


End file.
